The Principles of Live Music Justice™ – Rules to Rock By:
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Well, maybe Prince can get away with it… No Musical Masturbation* Don’t forget you got the gig to please the audience, not yourself. Here’s how it really works: You get the gig to attract people to the bar and buy drinks. People want to have a good time, talk, drink, and hopefully hear some entertaining music. Contrary to popular belief, the center of attention at a live show is not the band but the audience. If people wanted to see you masturbate with your guitar, the show would be in your bedroom; but since it is in public, you just need to play some great music and engage the audience by playing what they want to hear and doing things to make them feel good. If you entertain, they will come.
- Turn down the volume! If you can’t hear yourself, then the audience is loud enough. Remember, almost every sound-engineer is inherently a little deaf from being at loud-ass rock shows every night for 10 years, so you need to take responsibility into your own hands.
- Hurry Up! When it is time to go on, be on stage and ready to rock. Excessive tuning (tuning after every song is too much and the audience doesn’t know the difference as long as you are rocking), discussions of which song to play next, and on-stage drama are all good ways to piss off the audience and is a sign you need to be locked in the garage a little longer. Proper chrono-quette includes maximum 30 second breaks between songs, write a set list and stick to it, keep set times shorter than you probably like (30-45 minutes is plenty). A short and sweet set guarantees that when you rock, people will want more and when you suck, they don’t have to wait long for you to stop.
Build Your Arsenal of Rock Moves:
- The Point
- The Thrust
- The Spread Eagle
- The High Kick
- The Jump Kick
- The Windmill
- The Wide-Stance
- The High-Five
- The Devil Horns
- The Old Reliable
- The Double Trouble
- The A-Frame